I love my Australian home but what were you thinking?


Two days ago in my beautiful land down under we had a double dissolution of parliament election, that means in short there was a complete vote of no confidence in the entire government and they all had to stand for reelection?

Now one would think when served with such a chance an intelligent thinking voting population would get it right, would dispose of the useless assholes and finally get their beloved country back on track? One would hope.

But as dawn breaks on a new country, they still haven’t declared a prime minister but they have dived into Pandora’s Box broken the seal and released a plague of biblical proportions on themselves called Pauline Hanson! Why oh why? she is a convicted criminal ( yes I know they over turned her conviction)But seriously the only reason her conviction was overturned was to find a jury of her peers they would have to have twelve people in cognitive comas in the jury box and seriously there’s not enough plugs for their life support.

Twenty years ago when this cognitive amoeba last was a pimple on the political face of Australia Asian immigration made up 3% of all immigration to Australia, averaging about two thousand people a year. Australia at the time was about to hit 22 million as a population, Her election platform was that by 2015 (yes last year) at the current  rate of Asian immigration Australia would be 97% Asian? An educated fifth grader at the time worked out that for really happen deaths would have to increase several thousand percent, births of white Anglo Saxon Australian babies would have to virtually stop and we would have to increase Asian immigration while stopping all white immigration completely by about 20,000%. And as long as she mixed it with some good old bobo cordial (Australians will get it) the bullshit was actually palatable enough to get her elected “please explain”

Well here it is twelve glorious months after the end of the world as she knew it and china towns ,little Vietnams and japans are still small corners tucked away in every city and rickshaws and tuk tuks last time I checked have not replace the falcon fairlane and commodore as taxi’s!

She was eventually outed as the criminal she was, her manager was a muscle for hire with a criminal record as long as her nose for violent crime and a member of the white Arian Nation group and eventually she went to jail, even there she wasn’t smart.

Then for twenty years she lurked in the shadows like that creepy uncle at Christmas who always wants you come see his puppies, then when she saw people stupider than her elected and she thought” fuck why not if the short bus is stopping at parliament house why shouldn’t I be on it”?

Australia pull your head out of your bums, remember immigrants built this nation.

Afghans built the railway the Chinese mined sovereign hill and the goldfields of the 1850’s and the Polish, Italians and Yugoslavs built the snowy river hydro-electric scheme. The English came out  as ten pound poms and ran the automotive industry in the Holden and Ford and Chrysler factories across the nation. Serioulsy folks we wouldn’t have fish and chips and fruit and veg shops without the Amazing Greeks and Italians and every single drop of wine we have ever consumed we can thank the Germans for so remember before you send Australia back to the “white Australia policy days of the 1960’s ask what you’re willing to give up?.

Is the United States of today even worth fighting for?


Yesterday the republican congressman running against democrat tammy Duckworth for this year’s election, made fun on twitter of her being a double amputee (she lost her legs fighting for her country as an attack chopper pilot)

Last week a republican in Texas said “the disabled are a financial drain on America and should not be encouraged or tolerated”

Republican candidate trump said “she bleeds out of all kinds of places” or “she’s a fat ugly pig”

A popular southern Baptist minister said when giving a sermon on the Orlando massacre” the killer didn’t go far enough we should kill all the sodomites”

I am in my mid-fifties, I was born a few years after the end of the Korean War (my father and most of my uncles fought in it) In Australia we have ANZAC day (Australian New Zealand armed corps) to celebrate and commemorate the heroes who fought and those who paid the ultimate price defending freedom.

As children we were taught to respect the elderly, honor veterans and speak kindly of those we don’t completely understand and the biblical principles of “judge not lest ye be judged” and “he who is without sin cast the first stone” a minister in my youth might have condemned homosexuality but he would have also from the pulpit told us to pray for their salvation.

Politicians ,now don’t laugh are meant to conduct themselves with dignity, never laugh at a war hero who lost her legs, never say of 51% of the population “they bleed out of all kinds of places” or “they’re fat pigs” When we vote in theory were voting for a person to make the right decisions for our safe prosperous future, a person who thinks like us who grew up like us who knows what we the people need to not only merely survive but grow and prosper under their protection.

Whether in my native Australia or my adopted United States, as a child and through my early adult hood you might not have liked or agreed with a politicians beliefs or campaign statements but you could be assured he had basic common decent core values, that even if your party didn’t get in there would never be hate speech or a call to slaughter or a statement congratulating a terrorist for the death of 49 innocents.

Many will scream I’m naïve, yes I know there’s always been the KKK  and the white supremacists but I’m talking about real honest politicians not fringe lunacy and yes for people of color for many years and even still today a lot of this is not always the case. There has always been and unfortunately always will be racists and that in its self is a nation’s shame but when the people running even hate their own race is there any hope left? Is there a nation to protect?

This is the 21st century cars drive themselves ,we can bank by computer get a degree online operate a drone in one nation flying over another, we transplant every organ except the brain in the human body but we can’t teach common decency to the people that we the people vote to stand up for us?

As a disabled and a trans person (the T in LGBTQ) who is in a lesbian marriage (the L) and my wife is an immigrant, a citizen but an immigrant nonetheless the plethora of hatred and bigotry and stupidity that is this election cycle hits home to us at every turn. People we must stand for something or we’ll fall for it all, trump is not a politician, hell he’s not even a decent human being!

Don’t think just about yourself think of your kids, a famous man once said “he who forgets history is destined to repeat it” to that point the Texas board of education who for some reason print and decide the content of the entire countries school books has re written American history and removed any mention of slavery instead calling “unpaid contract labor” and even says the slaves were well cared for? It refers to the holocaust as “an unproved theory”

If we don’t get out this November and vote and vote against hate, vote against bigotry and vote for a future where our children can have an actual real   education an education that sets them up for more than a job as a barista and a life of school loans we should be ashamed of noone but ourselves.

Trump- wants to remove every form of care the previous 44 presidents have fought to install to make this country great, he wants to arrest 11 million people and tear the family apart? Independent fact checkers (meaning no affiliation with either party) have proven 97% of his claims and proposals are lies or completely impossible.

Bernie- was amazing, he started a revolution, he moved millions that previously didn’t care to care with a passion. But Bernie fans,elections are a last man standing first to the ribbon wins no re do‘s system and he lost. So honor him with the same level of dignity he ran with and accept he’s done and get behind Hilary to keep trump from taking over 1600 Pennsylvania avenue

Hilary Clinton- yes she’s been there before as first lady, she was Madame secretary and she has been accused of everything short of the Kennedy assassination and Cuban missile crisis, but before you drink the Kool-Aid ask yourself the source of the so called facts  you’re basing your hate or dislike for her.

Remember trump and the 97% lie rate, and Burnie wanted her gone he’s a nice guy  but he wants the big white shiny house in Washington and all the ads are paid for by old white men like the Koch brothers who think women belong in bed and Jews well they don’t want them around?

Whoever you vote for in November, don’t vote because you think the candidate is good or great imagine a nation 4 years or 8 years on if what comes out of their mouth comes to fruition but first do your own fact checking and calculations and then look and ask yourself would you still want to live in the united states under that person and even more important would they still be united?

Remember last time someone stood on a soap box and spewed hate filled rhetoric in this country 20 million Americans died, brothers killed brothers,cousins killed cousins, neighbors killed neighbors  there was nothing civil about the civil war.

Look to your left, look to your right and across the street and imagine the people you call neighbors, the children your children play with and go to school with, if their brown and not white what would your neighborhood be without their input? we jokingly call ourselves a melting pot but maybe you forgot for all the colors to successfully blend together someone has to light a fire under it!

Republicans Attack Democratic Disabled Vet Running for Senate in Mind-Numbingly Offensive Tweet



  • Source: PBS NewsHour/Flickr

Senate Republicans Grossly Mock Congresswoman Tammy Duckworth

With respect, forget, for a moment if you will, that it’s International Women’s Day.

Forget, if you will for a moment that Republicans falsely claim to be the party that respects and cares for our veterans. Forget, if you will for a moment that the GOP presidential candidates in the 2016 election season have taken this nation down the sewer.

But don’t forget that U.S. Congresswoman Tammy Duckworth is the first disabled woman to be elected to the U.S. House of Representatives. Don’t forget that she served as an Assistant Secretary in the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs. Don’t forget that she was the Director of the Illinois Department of Veterans Affairs.

And do not, ever, forget that she is an Iraq war veteran who lost both her legs as a combat helicopter pilot, then served as a Lieutenant Colonel in the Illinois Army National Guard.


How in the world would anyone, ever, think this is OK?


That’s a tweet posted by the Republican party – specifically the NRSC, National Republican Senatorial Committee, whose job is to get Republicans elected to the U.S. Senate.

Yes, the Republicans just mocked a disabled veteran, and said she isn’t “standing up for our veterans.”


Congresswoman Tammy Duckworth is running for the Senate, and the GOP clearly isn’t happy about it.

The tweet was deleted, according to the many, many people on Twitter right now furious about it, around 10 minutes after it was posted.

No apology. No embarrassment. No show of remorse.

Just one more example of what the Republican Party has become.


I must dreaming please stop screaming…


Have you ever had a dream, a way out of the Hell that is your existence? a dream that is the only thing that keeps you from tripping off the mortal coil in a PTSD nightmare filled flash back driven life that is only yours in the Nano seconds it takes for one memory of hell to finish and the next to play?

I have, I dreamt of waking back in the bush with wild life and the smell of eucalyptus, a place where my neighbors are nature and geology and red dirt and animals that come when I call and livestock who show undying love and I give it back. To most who know me they would say that’s the outback mia, your remembering anama station, dulkaninna, pinkelly via tibouburra what you speak of is namajirras vision dorothea McKellar’s vision splendid  banjo Patterson’s kosiousckos side or Clancy’s overflow in short my beloved Australia.

Australia will always be where my heart remains but it is also where my hells is it is where my nightmares were born. I can go back for short burst a few months at a time but to live there once again for ever is a thing at least at now I cannot foresee it so the search began for a piece of desert somewhere with all the above qualifications and it took many years and many false starts but finally we found candy kitchen a little piece of Cibola county in New Mexico closer to Arizona border than Albuquerque and the planning began.

What others would call bad luck we called a sign it is 6 miles up a road up a mountain the last 2 miles  4wd drive only, my architect was terrified and quit two builders said you’re bloody  mad and finally we met a couple and they said “we’ll give it a go” and our dream began to take shape.

People still think I’m crazy a wheelchair using seizure suffering PTSD sufferer living on a mountain top completely off the grid. We planned to be there by September 2014 but there is an old saying

“How do you make god laugh? You tell him your plans”

So I was emotionally set to be rid of NYC and go bush as we aussies say, then something came up so it was January. Again hanging on by my nails then el-ninio hit so now it was to be May 2015 a friend from Australia was coming, at the last minute he never showed up at the airport and a month later we found him. After a mound of excuses he said he’d be there august he’d bring thousands to live on and buy a car.

August came he arrived penniless, no clothes, no transport  and hundreds of miles from my place.

I hadn’t seen him in 20 years,the man I knew was as honest as the day is long and a jack of all trades, the man who arrived was con artist, a thief and  a criminal who used my construction timber for fire wood and cost me thousands. A build that should have taken two weeks wasn’t even started, again I am on the point of physical and mental break I have my paradise but am I ever meant to live there?

We finally got rid of our problem by October and we had three months of storms now it’s 2016 its may and were heading there with the intent of going fulltime in June. I was breathing, the end was in sight, may was wonderful but the house is still a long way from finished but our builders are doing their best with what mother nature throws at them but June is cancelled?

June is now, as I write we should be packing the car and driving to our piece of heaven. Were not going now, now it’s set for the last day of august.

During this last year I was attacked they smashed my shoulder, I have a 97%tear of my left rotator cuff and strangulated nerves to my left bicep and  had major surgery in february.

So now even if my emotions were strong enough to still hang on by my fingertips It’s all on one arm, because 5 months after surgery My left arm is useless. My days are spent home alone from 7am to 7pm, just me and my mazing service dog Zeus. He gets my ptsd and my flash backs and my seizures, he doesn’t judge he just does what he’s trained to do and then hundred times more with the love he gives in my darkest moments.

The new go date is last day of august, on a good day both hands can grip the ledge but most days I’m hanging by one with Zeus on my lap and I count the hours. Today is a bad day, I have had a seizure, I have zoned out multiple times and sat bolt upright as I come back to the room. And my left arm is locked and immovable and hurts like hell.

I’m still here,  I’m hanging on,  it’s my vision splendid from the edge of my mountain top that keeps me here. Maybe it will be different next week? maybe it won’t? but the one thing I do know is only dirt on my wheels and fresh air in my hair will make it all worthwhile.

Pulse night club Orlando


I wrote about gun laws today and I know I pissed a few people off but hey it’s my blog line forms to the right, I have been trying to wrap my brain around what it is I want to say.

My heart is breaking, as many of you know my entire back is tattooed with half open roses with blood dripping from them,

the tattoo is there because in the nineties in Queensland Australia transgender women and sex workers were being raped beaten and murdered and the stats never made the books,the crimes never made front page. The crimes remained anonymous  because the homophobic police state that Queensland was and some say still is reported “a man was found dead wearing women’s clothing”.

They would post her male name and when you asked a cop are we safe he would say “ there are no stats to back up any claims that trans women are being attacked!” yet six of my closest friends in almost ten years  disappeared.

Those beautiful sentient beings never got to bloom, they never got to shine their roses never opened and the papers and the cops forgot them so I have kept them alive in my heart and mind and on my back forever  in living color.

Gay clubs are like church, a club in fortitude valley Queensland actually called their Sunday session church so you could tell your parents if you were in the closet “I’m at church I’ll be home later”

Now I can name at least ten friends who will go apeshit because I dare call a night club church, but if they read The bible it actually says “church is not the stone and wood and graven images it is the people who gather who believe in one faith “ That is why I call the clubs church we all believe, we all believe in each other, in our right to be free to be loved to be unharmed because we love whom we love. Some days when every redneck want’s to claim their right to damn you to hell, and call you faggot and some double wide bitch in a women’s bathroom tries to hunt you out because you simply want to pee if you make it to the club and you roll in in my case there is usually some barperson normally gorgeous who knows your name, your drink your spot at the bar and you feel like your home.

You’re home, you’re safe and the music gets louder it drowns out the haters ,it drowns out  the noise and it takes over and for that few hours  you’re not called an abomination , a freak a fag a tranny you’re “darling ,beautiful, baby friend, sister brother or whatever you’re identity or your preference your way of living loving and presenting to the world it’s ok.

Ok not NORMAL because I hate normal, what the hell is it? Who is the ruler of what is normal? Were just ok and loved and we belong just like cheers but more glitter.

We don’t hate if you come to a gay club with me  and you’re straight,of course you’ll get checked out and you’ll get asked to dance and your choice is “no thanks” or if you’re smart dance like you no one’s watching and have the time of your life and guess what you’ll still be straight when you leave like you were when you came just happier because that’s what gay clubs are about. They’re about dancing, music, drinking, beauty  and love and happiness for everyone.

One of the women killed was a straight mother of 11 whose only crime was loving her gay son so much she went dancing with him, and the asshole who will remain nameless on this blog assumed she was gay so he shot her. He shot so many and he hated so many and he it sounds like hated himself most because as the story unfolds it is showing it seems that he was gay on the down low.

It’s pride month all over America  so we’ll stop for a moment of silence then we’ll party like it’s the last party on earth and we’ll dance like no one is watching we’ll kiss like lovers do fuck like rabbits and dance some more. Not because we don’t remember the fallen but because we do, that’s how we remember beautiful lives lost with more beautiful life.

I’ll never say the monsters name again, but I’ll say the fallen  and departed names often , because that’s how you smile by remembering beauty, by remembering heroes and caring loving lovers and the bouncer who was a marine who had fought for his country fought for his right to love and even you’re right to hate and Sunday morning that hate came to pulse night club.

The next day ISIS said their fighter had destroyed “an abomination on the face of the earth” well motherfuckers the straight owner of the club YES STRAIGHT has vowed to rebuild bigger and better and brighter and gayer and the new design will not only remember her brother who died of aids like the old club but each and every one of the 49 beautiful people who died there and the fifty who were wounded because  to all who hate our love is bigger brighter and indestructible.

Every time you hit we’ll shine brighter,because guns don’t win hate doesn’t win only love wins  and there is one thing my beautiful brothers and sisters in the LGBTQ community never have a shortage of and that’s big bright glittering love.

The full list of names of those killed released by the City of Orlando is as follows:

  • Stanley Almodovar III, 23 years old
  • Amanda Alvear, 25 years old
  • Oscar A Aracena-Montero, 26 years old
  • Rodolfo Ayala-Ayala, 33 years old
  • Antonio Davon Brown, 29 years old
  • Darryl Roman Burt II, 29 years old
  • Angel L. Candelario-Padro, 28 years old
  • Juan Chevez-Martinez, 25 years old
  • Luis Daniel Conde, 39 years old
  • Cory James Connell, 21 years old
  • Tevin Eugene Crosby, 25 years old
  • Deonka Deidra Drayton, 32 years old
  • Simon Adrian Carrillo Fernandez, 31 years old
  • Leroy Valentin Fernandez, 25 years old
  • Mercedez Marisol Flores, 26 years old
  • Peter O. Gonzalez-Cruz, 22 years old
  • Juan Ramon Guerrero, 22 years old
  • Paul Terrell Henry, 41 years old
  • Frank Hernandez, 27 years old
  • Miguel Angel Honorato, 30 years old
  • Javier Jorge-Reyes, 40 years old
  • Jason Benjamin Josaphat, 19 years old
  • Eddie Jamoldroy Justice, 30 years old
  • Anthony Luis Laureanodisla, 25 years old
  • Christopher Andrew Leinonen, 32 years old
  • Alejandro Barrios Martinez, 21 years old
  • Brenda Lee Marquez McCool, 49 years old
  • Gilberto Ramon Silva Menendez, 25 years old
  • Kimberly Morris, 37 years old
  • Akyra Monet Murray, 18 years old
  • Luis Omar Ocasio-Capo, 20 years old
  • Geraldo A. Ortiz-Jimenez, 25 years old
  • Eric Ivan Ortiz-Rivera, 36 years old
  • Joel Rayon Paniagua, 32 years old
  • Jean Carlos Mendez Perez, 35 years old
  • Enrique L. Rios, Jr., 25 years old
  • Jean C. Nives Rodriguez, 27 years old
  • Xavier Emmanuel Serrano Rosado, 35 years old
  • Christopher Joseph Sanfeliz, 24 years old
  • Yilmary Rodriguez Solivan, 24 years old
  • Edward Sotomayor Jr., 34 years old
  • Shane Evan Tomlinson, 33 years old
  • Martin Benitez Torres, 33 years old
  • Jonathan Antonio Camuy Vega, 24 years old
  • Juan P. Rivera Velazquez, 37 years old
  • Luis S. Vielma, 22 years old
  • Franky Jimmy Dejesus Velazquez, 50 years old
  • Luis Daniel Wilson-Leon, 37 years old
  • Jerald Arthur Wright, 31 years old


Hey America turn off the NRA and listen, no one’s taking your guns they just want to keep them from terrorists


The AR-15 sometimes called the bushmaster, depending which incarnation from which company you are talking about was originally invented for use by swat and anti- terrorist units and border patrol as a light weight alternative to the military weapons of the seventies such as the m-16 and the SLR 7.62 mm which could weigh as much as 20lbs loaded.

As gang problems arose in cities such as LA and cartels started crossing the border, they had the latest weapons from Europe because money was no object. The police  decided they needed to be equally quick, light and fast moving so the “semi” automatic ar-15 was born.

Let’s get one thing straight I am not anti- gun I am all for sane non- criminal people who are not on a terrorist watch list being able to purchase a domestic weapon to hunt, target shoot, or for work or self-protection.

Does it make sense to anyone that a suspected terrorist deemed dangerous enough to be on a no-fly list is still allowed to buy guns?

I have had military training with weapons like the ar-15, my weapon of choice was the Belgian slr 7.62 mm rifle as used by commonwealth military forces up until the early 80’s it was the weapon of Vietnam.

The slr in trained hands has two settings single shot and full auto, full auto can release in a standard clip 20 bullets in about 2 seconds.

As a single shot it was the snipers of the day choice, as without any special sights it was accurate at a thousand yards, over that with sights and a spotter the record was for 1 mile in Vietnam.

These weapons take training, their bullets are designed only to kill, when they enter the body (speaking of the slr) it makes a neat half inch hole on exit there is nothing left from the waste to the shoulder blades at close quarters. They have no use as a hunting weapon, and if you want 7.62mm to bring down big game the domestic equivalent is 3.08 single shot

There is no civilian use for any weapon of war, they taught us in the military a well-placed single shot is deadlier than any spray from full auto you waste ammo and all it is is noise, unless you’re in a closed space with innocent civilians who are not trained then it’s pure slaughter .

You never forget the sound of full auto, or  the smoke and the smell of cordite and gunpowder in the air, it gets in your hair, your nostrils and the only thing worse is the blood that smell you never forget.

No one is stealing guns from honest Americans, but if you’re really honest automatic weapons are not for your hunting they’re for your ego.

Psychiatrists who have worked with special forces for decades have shown that less than 1% of 1% of the population even armed with weapons of war have the balls to pull the trigger on another human. So all the talk about well-armed civilians could have fought back is BS

Unless you’re ready to aim at central body mass and pull the trigger and keep squeezing until the threat drops don’t carry a gun, there’s no wild west shooting the gun out of their hand no one is really that good and they can still pull a trigger with the other.

The cry from the NRA IS” good people with a gun could have killed him” Good people don’t have it in them to kill.

Own your hunting rifles, your glock, your shotgun for bird hunting and fowl if you really must but if you need full auto to hunt you have no place hunting.

If we turn down the NRA noise and listen to our own common sense,

A person who is court ordered to live with their mother because they were mentally ill has no place with a gun, yet the boy who slaughtered babies at sandy hook was just such a person,

An American citizen of Afghan heritage who was watched by the FBI for ten months and everyone he knew questioned because he admitted telling coworkers he was Al-Qaida affiliated, and was on the no fly list for a year then again made terroristic comments should not be allowed to buy or own weapons yet he did and passed background checks?

If like my friends in candy kitchen New mexico you’re an upright law abiding honest American who just wants to hunt or have protection go for it, but even they would tell you they don’t want a neighbor on lithium and other mental health drugs carrying an automatic weapon.

If you really want to protect your second amendment rights don’t jump on bandwagons funded by gun manufacturers, stand up for the families of the dead and make theirs a club that receives no new members because you tell the people you vote for

“Here’s our deal. We’ll back a call for common sense and we agree those who hate our country are dangerous enough I don’t want them armed, and if my neighbor is so out of control they take him for mental evaluation he shouldn’t own a gun and if someone did time for a violent felony I don’t want to arm them for their next crime”.

None of that is a “Kenyan Muslim taking my guns” it’s a caring law to stop the madness.

And stop praying for god to intervene even if such a being does exist and he is everything he’s meant to be he would be disgusted by now and have his back turned.

So you’re not god after all dr jobin?

The surgeon looked at me and said “after we rebuild your shoulder within 3 months it will actually work better than before” and the pain? I asked him “totally gone in 3 months” he went on to tell me that I would be back rock climbing within 4 months!

Wow fantastic pain gone in 3 climbing again in 4, BLOODY FANTASTIC

Well that doctor sent me home with oxy-condone, oxy-contin, hydro-morphine, naproxen and whenever I said the pain wasn’t getting any better he just replied”take the pills”

Well it’s the 6th of June the surgery was the 4th of February and my left arm is useless, the pain is agonizing. If I roll on my arm in the night I awake screaming, and all they want to do is give me Opioids? Yes Opioids the largest and fastest growing cause of addiction and overdose facing this country but hey let’s not be a doctor and fix lets be an author and just write scripts?

I should have known the doctor was a hack when I took off the bandages and of my five surgical incisions he had completely missed one and not sutured it closed? Yes the doctor forgot to stitch up the patient!

The thing that pisses me off the most is, I have battled my weight my whole life but through a constant regimen of exercise I have been able to control it, but since my injury I have put up on more than 60lbs because I can’t even push my manual chair faster than a walk.

So I have not entered any road races at all,or rolled ten miles regularly like I used to or rolled the 6 mile course in central park and I used to swim 2 miles a day and I haven’t swam since October 21st the day the injury occurred.

Tell me mr surgeon my arm is not better than before,I can’t even use it I would be better off with a prosthetic, and the pain is 12 out of 10 so what happened ? What did you fuck up? But I’ll never know because you don’t want to hear from me.