How do you explain PTSD to someone who didn’t go through hell with you?

PTSD these days is most often connected to our heroes the wounded warriors, those returning from the Iraq/afghanistan conflict, but the title corrects that misnomer it stands for post traumatic stress disorder. So infact any traumatic stress, any hell any rape any murder any memory that just won’t die can be the cause of PTSD.

Mine is from 10 years of child molestation, and even though I’m half way through a century on this earth in my darkest moments of depression on any day when the room is silent lets the monster back in. Infact anytime my brain quiets itself for the shortest time, anyone of many thousands of events ranging from improper touch to full on rape by my monster crawl back into my mind in full hi-def living color.
People ask “does it only happen at night? everyone has nightmares” nightmares like morning sickness is a stupid name, women get sick 24/7 when their pregnant and the nightmares become day mares ,afternoon mares so we just call them flash backs.

A relative I love dearly is a war hero, his hell was called Vietnam he came home in 1974 but to those who love him he tells his soul didn’t make it till at least 1984 I feel the same. My rapes ended at 14 years of age, but from 15 to 25 I was noone you wanted to know I was a martial arts expert and the world became my punching bag and I never met a bottle with a bottom I didn’t like or a bong I didn’t suck dry. The trouble was by 25 when I got my shit together, I had done so much damage 30 years later I’m still Putting out fires.
veterans suffer a similar fate, with our prisons full of veterans who ended up incarcerated before they found help. So how do you live with flash backs of monsters pinning you down and being penetrated? while at the same time you live with a family who turned their back, the very people who should be there when you want to scream don’t care how loud your screams are because they’re not listening.

If you’re finally lucky like I am you find someone who not only hears the screams they hold you till it stops, but the sadness is I have known many who were lost before they found their person to hold them. Service dogs for PTSD work but are expensive if you’re not in the military, and group therapy is ok if you were lucky enough to ever learn to trust again. Me I am a one on one person, but when my therapist told me ” a person with one traumatic event can expect healing to take years maybe decades, but with you the events number thousands so to use the term healed anytime in your life would be to unfairly build your hopes up”
At that moment I rolled away, because the thought of spending tuesdays for the rest of my life in a small room with a stranger was not what I saw my future to be.
Today I am writing this blog post, because to my left I see the usher waiting to let me know the hi-def movie that is my horror is loaded and waiting to show.

I’ll fill my voids with swimming and rockwall climbing and road racing and anything else that pushes life to the edge and makes my loved ones squirm, because they squirm but it reminds me I am alive and If I am alive I won I beat the bastard. Somewhere there is a disgusting obese elderly pedophile living the life of a hermit, because he’s not allowed contact with children or families or anyone that matters and today my wife of 15 years will come home love me hold me and sleep beside me. So is my life troubled with PTSD ? hell yes but I have a soft place to fall when it is at its worse, I have someone to hold me till I fall back to sleep and when I wake screaming and for me that’s good enough.

To my brothers and sisters In the struggle, I wish you know the love I know, and to our government bring our soldiers home now, what you call a war is nothing more than a factory churning out damaged heros who were in a country they should never have been in sent to fight a war that was none of their business and the thousands who have died should never have fallen and the hundreds of thousands who come home less than when they left are in need of love and understanding and help. So let them know if the government won’t keep their promise we the people have their backs.

Teachers fear students may reveal sexual abuse at school

oz kids

Reposted from a story by: Political reporter Lauren Novak From: The Advertiser February 18, 2013

Teachers feel they need more training in how to handle students’ revelations of sexual abuse.
TEACHERS are not properly covering the child protection curriculum with students because they feel unprepared to deal with disclosures of abuse, an expert warns.
UniSA emeritus professor Freda Briggs said teachers should use the Education Department’s Keeping Safe child protection curriculum but some were not because of apprehension about “what it would unearth” and a lack of training about how to respond.
“They (teachers) feel that they are not sufficiently well trained in matters relating to child sex abuse, and they’re worried that some children may disclose abuse to them and they’re not competent to handle it,” Prof Briggs said.
“They need to know how to talk to children (and) children need to know very clearly what is unacceptable, wrong, reportable behaviour – not hush it up.”
Professor Briggs was commenting on concerns about how teachers responded to the alleged sexual assault of a female student by another girl at a Hills school in 2010.
Yesterday, it emerged that parents had written to the principal to say students were “aware an incident of some sort has occurred … and it is naive to think it will not be discussed”.
In one letter, a parent said they understood that “on a directive from you (the principal), students … were told not to discuss any information or rumours about this incident or they would face discipline”.
Prof Briggs said this approach sent children the wrong message and was “unwittingly assisting child sex offenders in giving the impression that this behaviour has to be secret”.
The Education Department requires all teachers to undergo training before delivering the Keeping Safe curriculum, which includes strategies to prevent children from disclosing personal information in class.
Teachers union spokeswoman Correna Haythorpe said those who taught the curriculum were “very competent”. Teachers also undergo Responding to Abuse and Neglect training every three years.
A department spokeswoman said principals were reminded each year of their responsibility to ensure staff were trained to deliver child protection curriculum.
Opposition education spokesman David Pisoni said teachers were underprepared to deal with sexual abuse in schools

UK soap opera star faces child sex charges

reposted from a story by Pat Hurst From: AAP February 15, 2013 1:19PM

BRITISH soap opera actor Michael Le Vell, who plays garage boss Kevin Webster in TV’s Coronation Street, has been charged with child sex offences.
..Le Vell, 48, whose real name is Michael Turner, is accused of 19 sex offences including raping a child, indecently assaulting a child, and sexual activity with a child.

Le Vell, a stalwart on the popular ITV series, will appear in court on February 27, Greater Manchester Police (GMP) said on Thursday.

He was first arrested in September 2011 and questioned over alleged child sex offences, but the matter was later dropped.

But late on Thursday night, GMP said the actor, from Hale, Cheshire, had been charged with sex offences against a youngster after a review of evidence by lawyers from the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS).

A spokeswoman from GMP said: “Michael Turner, of Byrom Street, Hale, has been charged with 19 offences including raping a child, indecently assaulting a child and sexual activity with a child.

“The charges, which were authorised by the CPS following a review of evidence, relate to offences against a child between 2001 and 2010.”

Alison Levitt QC, principal legal adviser to the Director of Public Prosecutions, had reviewed a file of evidence in relation to allegations of sexual offences and looked again at a decision previously made not to prosecute.

Levitt said: “I have very carefully reviewed the evidence in this case and I have concluded that there is sufficient evidence and it is in the public interest to charge Michael Robert Turner with a number of sexual offences.”

Le Vell, a father of two, was not charged with offences after his initial arrest in September 2011 and the investigation was dropped three months later in late December, when the authorities said there was not enough evidence to charge him.

At the time the actor said he was “delighted” to have been “completely exonerated”, thanked police for their “thorough” investigation, and Coronation Street staff and the public for their support.

Le Vell vowed to put the allegations behind him and returned to the show after a short break and is now currently involved in some of the soap’s main storylines.

He is one of British TV’s most famous faces after playing the same character for the past 30 years.

The actor split from his wife Janette Beverley last year

Father not guilty of bashing paedophile Shayne Davidson who molested his son

Reposted from a story By Robyn Ironside From: The Courier-Mail June 02, 2010
•Court told man molested boy, 10
•Dad bashed him almost unconscious
•Jury considers the reaction reasonable
Start of sidebar. Skip to end of sidebar.
Related CoverageRecommended CoverageRelated Coverage.Swearing boy ‘molested by housemaster’
A BOARDING school student was caned for swearing at an assistant housemaster who had molested him in the shower, a Sydney jury has been told.. End of sidebar. Return to start of sidebar.
A JURY has taken 40 minutes to find a father not guilty of bashing a paedophile who molested his son after watching a rugby league match at his home.
The man, who cannot be named, had pleaded not guilty in the Beenleigh District Court to a charge of assault causing grievous bodily harm – which carries a maximum penalty of 14 years’ jail, The Courier-Mail reports.
He was alleged to have attacked Shayne Thomas Davidson, 43, at Eagleby on June 11, 2008, after learning about the assault on his son in his bed.
Davidson pleaded guilty last year to indecently assaulting the boy but was spared a jail sentence.
He had been invited over to watch the State of Origin game with his old childhood friend with whom he had recently become re-acquainted.
. The court was told that after the game, Davidson told the father and two neighbours he was going to bed on a mattress made up on the lounge-room floor.
But he instead he went into the boy’s bedroom and massaged his genitals telling him he was a “pretty boy” and they would be “best pals forever”.
When the upset and teary 10-year-old told his father, he is alleged to have dragged Davidson outside and bashed him almost unconscious.
But a jury today took just 40 minutes to return a not guilty verdict after magistrate Walter Tutt told them they must “consider if what the defendant did were the actions of an ordinary reasonable person given the circumstances”.

New sex case at public school claim South Australia Liberals

South Australia
reposted from astory by: Lauren Novak and Sheradyn Holderhead From: adelaidenow February 15, 2013
THE Opposition alleges that police have arrested a man over another sexual assault of a public school student.
Opposition education spokesman David Pisoni said the arrest was made in the last month but parents had not yet been told.
Mr Pisoni said the alleged perpetrator worked for an organisation contracted by the Education Department as part of a program attempting to re-engage disadvantaged and vulnerable students.
“Education Minister (Jennifer) Rankine must now explain why there is still no policy in regards to how and when parents are told about sexual assault cases in schools,” Mr Pisoni said.
“Minister Rankine must also confirm if the proper process was followed before this youth worker was allowed access to students.”
Premier Jay Weatherill said he was not aware of the incident.
He said the policy about informing parents was “very clear” but that judgments were made on a case-by-case basis.
The Education Department has been contacted by adelaidenow for comment.

Mother arrested for creating child porn with her children, police say

Reposted from a story on CBC – Thu, 7 Feb, 2013…..British authorities alerted Hamilton police that a woman from Hamilton had sent pornographic …

….A Hamilton woman has been taking pornographic photos of her children and sending them to an overseas penpal, police say.

In January, a 50-year-old man from London, England, was arrested for possession of indecent images of children. The investigation by British authorities revealed a woman from Hamilton had sent several images of her children to the man.

Members of the Hamilton Police Internet Child Exploitation unit were alerted to the investigation and executed a search warrant in the city’s east end Thursday morning.

Numerous computers and devices were seized from the home for forensic examination. The three children in the home were removed and the Catholic Children’s Aid Society was notified, police say,

The 46-year-old woman was not home at the time, but was arrested at her place of employment in Toronto shortly after, police say.

The woman’s name is not being released to protect the child victims. She has been charged with the making, distributing and possession of child pornography.

A bail hearing is set for Feb. 7

Youth volunteer pleads guilty to child porn charges

 Reposted from a story By Hannah Spray, The StarPhoenix January 22, 2013 11:09 AM



Youth volunteer pleads guilty to child porn charges

24-year-old University of Saskatchewan graduate Justin Gryba pleaded guilty to sharing more than 2,000 child porn images — but the Crown alleges he possessed more than 10 times that amount on hard drives with military-grade encryption that the police haven’t managed to crack yet.

Photograph by: File photo , ,

Justin Gerard Gryba has a resume packed with volunteer activities involving young children, but he also had a dark secret – computer folders filled with images of child pornography.

“This is a highly intelligent young man who … maintains a 91 per cent average at university,” Crown prosecutor Mike Segu said. “Unfortunately, it also appears he has a predilection for preteen boys.”

The 24-year-old University of Saskatchewan graduate pleaded guilty to sharing more than 2,000 child porn images – but the Crown alleged at his sentencing on Monday in Saskatoon provincial court that he actually possessed more than 10 times that amount on hard drives with military-grade encryption that the police haven’t managed to crack yet.

If the police can get into those hard drives and they find more child pornography, Segu said that will form the basis of new charges. Segu read in court a chat message from Gryba on a file sharing network where Gryba said he had more than 25,000 pictures and more than 800 videos in his 90-gigabyte collection – a massive amount, if it is ever proven.

Gryba was sentenced Monday to two years less a day in jail, plus three years probation, after pleading guilty to possession and distribution of child pornography in connection with 2,126 images.

His activity was discovered by a Toronto police officer investigating child porn file sharing in August 2011 who chatted with a user online and traced the IP address to Saskatoon. The Saskatoon police Internet child exploitation unit further traced the IP address to Gryba’s home.

Police searched his home in November 2011 and found Gryba had an “elaborate computer system” in his bedroom, where he also ran a photography business. They seized a number of computers and hard drives, including two encrypted drives.

When police were investigating the manufacturer a few months later, they phoned the manufacturer for information and were told someone else from Saskatchewan – who the manufacturer presumed to be police – had recently phoned to inquire about how many password attempts could be made before the unit would self-destruct and if it was possible to retrieve a password from a hard drive that had been connected to the device.

Police traced that call to a pay phone at the Mall at Lawson Heights. Video surveillance showed the caller was Gryba.

Defence lawyer Morris Bodnar said Gryba himself couldn’t access the data on those drives. They have such complex encryption that Gryba would take his files and dump them onto the drives, knowing he couldn’t get at it, which was psychologically important to him.

“No one can get into it, not even him,” Bodnar said.

Of the data police were able to access on other drives, perhaps the most disturbing was a single folder with only four photos in it, Segu said. Some photos showed Gryba and a young boy in a pool and one photo showed the young boy standing inside a room, naked from the waist down, holding his underwear in front of his face. Police are still trying to determine who is that boy.

Gryba has volunteered extensively with young people, including with Big Brothers, church youth programming and in the pediatric unit at Royal University Hospital. He also taught a youth photography class and worked as a lifeguard and swimming instructor.

He’s received a number of awards, including a Saskatchewan Youth Award in 2009 and a Millennium Excellence Award in 2006. A 2009 StarPhoenix article about Gryba noted he was a co-facilitator of Jump Start, an after-school program for inner-city kids, and a group leader for the weekly inner-city swim program at the U of S.

In December 2011, after charges were laid against him, Gryba started psychotherapy sessions with a Saskatoon psychologist, said defence lawyer Morris Bodnar. He’s been to see the psychologist 34 times since then and has been working to understand his own behaviour.

“I’ve made some truly terrible and inexcusable mistakes and I’ve compromised the character, the morals and the values by which I live,” Gryba said in court. “It’s impossible to describe how sorry I am for that.”

In accepting the joint sentence submission of two years less a day plus probation, Judge Doug Agnew characterized Gryba’s actions as “despicable, vile and evil.”

The terms of his probation include a number of computer-related terms, including that he not live in an any residence where there is a computer belonging to someone else that isn’t physically locked away or password protected at all times. He is also prohibited from possessing or using any device capable of storing data in a digital format except for one computer that he’s allowed to have under very specific conditions, for education purposes.

He is also prohibited from being in any public parks, swimming pools or other places young people frequent unless he’s in the presence of an adult aware of his conviction.

Gryba must comply with the national sex offender registry for 20 years

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