Eighteen years ago a newly transitioned transgender woman was living in a share house on Sandgate rd in Brisbane Australia.She was newly released from prison after all charges were dismissed and an apology from the state government was written, it took them several months of her in hell in a male prison for them to realize it is impossible to be in Asia and the gold coast at the same time?
She had had her children stolen by her ex, her career destroyed by a lying homophobic manager and a price put on her head by her own mother to “beat the gay out of her” and when her brothers are two of the most famous muscle for hire in the country that was a threat not to be ignored.
A woman newly hatched, How to survive without (as she later found to be a misguided idea) the use of all her formerly masculine fighting skills was she would learn a scary proposition.
She met some people who taught her how to be a woman, they had friends who taught her how to survive the gay scene, and then at her lowest they had friends who introduced her to speed. For two years every day that she was awake she was putting a gram of pure uncut speed up her nose.
Life was a blur for her,she witnessed things she would previously have run from she would be up for a week, crash for three days, then do a gram and repeat it all over again.
She was the life of the party at every night club in the valley, she was known to all, disliked by some but as long as she was chemically assisted “fuck them and the rainbow unicorns they flew in on”!
Then One day she was at a party with her group of drug assisted twinks and drag queens and she saw some older gays talking. She was taking pictures, lots of pictures, it was her new hobby because her special friend at that time was a photographer who took crime scene pics for the federal police. He would on slow days Take her pics to work as a favor and develop them. Three days later she was at headquarters explaining where she took the pics, why she took the pics and if she knew the older gays in the background by the pool?. Two days after finding out the total stranger in the background was one of Queensland’s most wanted people she went cold turkey she was clean for ten days.
ten day she thought I have this beat, then she was walking along a road high as a kite and suddenly was pulled into a car was held down and felt herself being jabbed with a needle, it seems they liked her better when she was a junky.
The shot it turned out was her old friend speed mixed with heroin, a message? She was dumped in the carpark of a doctors surgery in a strip mall in the valley at 4am, luckily it turned out her doctor.
At 7 am when the doctor opened up to some quiet paper work before patients, she found the almost gone woman on the welcome mat. As the nurse arrived a few moments behind her they got the comatose figure into the back room. They drew blood, they put in a fluids and vitamins drip and they strapped her to the bed for the next 24 hours. That woman threw up, messed, sweated gallons, was cleaned up and did it all over again and when they knew what the drug was they countered it.
That woman woke up shaking the next day, she was told where she was and how they found her and that the doctor believed the shot was meant to kill her.
That day was June 22nd 1998 that woman was me and I have been sober and clean ever since.
There are a small handful of people, all beautiful women that have my undying gratitude. They know who they are, they know I love them and one is my bashert Ella, the other I shall not name here out of respect for their lives 18 years later.
It took a lot to come clean with this and tell people, but it’s not for glory or bragging it is to show those still going through their own personal hells that if they just keep going and accept the help offered they can make it out the other side.