I wrote about gun laws today and I know I pissed a few people off but hey it’s my blog line forms to the right, I have been trying to wrap my brain around what it is I want to say.
My heart is breaking, as many of you know my entire back is tattooed with half open roses with blood dripping from them,
the tattoo is there because in the nineties in Queensland Australia transgender women and sex workers were being raped beaten and murdered and the stats never made the books,the crimes never made front page. The crimes remained anonymous because the homophobic police state that Queensland was and some say still is reported “a man was found dead wearing women’s clothing”.
They would post her male name and when you asked a cop are we safe he would say “ there are no stats to back up any claims that trans women are being attacked!” yet six of my closest friends in almost ten years disappeared.
Those beautiful sentient beings never got to bloom, they never got to shine their roses never opened and the papers and the cops forgot them so I have kept them alive in my heart and mind and on my back forever in living color.
Gay clubs are like church, a club in fortitude valley Queensland actually called their Sunday session church so you could tell your parents if you were in the closet “I’m at church I’ll be home later”
Now I can name at least ten friends who will go apeshit because I dare call a night club church, but if they read The bible it actually says “church is not the stone and wood and graven images it is the people who gather who believe in one faith “ That is why I call the clubs church we all believe, we all believe in each other, in our right to be free to be loved to be unharmed because we love whom we love. Some days when every redneck want’s to claim their right to damn you to hell, and call you faggot and some double wide bitch in a women’s bathroom tries to hunt you out because you simply want to pee if you make it to the club and you roll in in my case there is usually some barperson normally gorgeous who knows your name, your drink your spot at the bar and you feel like your home.
You’re home, you’re safe and the music gets louder it drowns out the haters ,it drowns out the noise and it takes over and for that few hours you’re not called an abomination , a freak a fag a tranny you’re “darling ,beautiful, baby friend, sister brother or whatever you’re identity or your preference your way of living loving and presenting to the world it’s ok.
Ok not NORMAL because I hate normal, what the hell is it? Who is the ruler of what is normal? Were just ok and loved and we belong just like cheers but more glitter.
We don’t hate if you come to a gay club with me and you’re straight,of course you’ll get checked out and you’ll get asked to dance and your choice is “no thanks” or if you’re smart dance like you no one’s watching and have the time of your life and guess what you’ll still be straight when you leave like you were when you came just happier because that’s what gay clubs are about. They’re about dancing, music, drinking, beauty and love and happiness for everyone.
One of the women killed was a straight mother of 11 whose only crime was loving her gay son so much she went dancing with him, and the asshole who will remain nameless on this blog assumed she was gay so he shot her. He shot so many and he hated so many and he it sounds like hated himself most because as the story unfolds it is showing it seems that he was gay on the down low.
It’s pride month all over America so we’ll stop for a moment of silence then we’ll party like it’s the last party on earth and we’ll dance like no one is watching we’ll kiss like lovers do fuck like rabbits and dance some more. Not because we don’t remember the fallen but because we do, that’s how we remember beautiful lives lost with more beautiful life.
I’ll never say the monsters name again, but I’ll say the fallen and departed names often , because that’s how you smile by remembering beauty, by remembering heroes and caring loving lovers and the bouncer who was a marine who had fought for his country fought for his right to love and even you’re right to hate and Sunday morning that hate came to pulse night club.
The next day ISIS said their fighter had destroyed “an abomination on the face of the earth” well motherfuckers the straight owner of the club YES STRAIGHT has vowed to rebuild bigger and better and brighter and gayer and the new design will not only remember her brother who died of aids like the old club but each and every one of the 49 beautiful people who died there and the fifty who were wounded because to all who hate our love is bigger brighter and indestructible.
Every time you hit we’ll shine brighter,because guns don’t win hate doesn’t win only love wins and there is one thing my beautiful brothers and sisters in the LGBTQ community never have a shortage of and that’s big bright glittering love.
The full list of names of those killed released by the City of Orlando is as follows:
- Stanley Almodovar III, 23 years old
- Amanda Alvear, 25 years old
- Oscar A Aracena-Montero, 26 years old
- Rodolfo Ayala-Ayala, 33 years old
- Antonio Davon Brown, 29 years old
- Darryl Roman Burt II, 29 years old
- Angel L. Candelario-Padro, 28 years old
- Juan Chevez-Martinez, 25 years old
- Luis Daniel Conde, 39 years old
- Cory James Connell, 21 years old
- Tevin Eugene Crosby, 25 years old
- Deonka Deidra Drayton, 32 years old
- Simon Adrian Carrillo Fernandez, 31 years old
- Leroy Valentin Fernandez, 25 years old
- Mercedez Marisol Flores, 26 years old
- Peter O. Gonzalez-Cruz, 22 years old
- Juan Ramon Guerrero, 22 years old
- Paul Terrell Henry, 41 years old
- Frank Hernandez, 27 years old
- Miguel Angel Honorato, 30 years old
- Javier Jorge-Reyes, 40 years old
- Jason Benjamin Josaphat, 19 years old
- Eddie Jamoldroy Justice, 30 years old
- Anthony Luis Laureanodisla, 25 years old
- Christopher Andrew Leinonen, 32 years old
- Alejandro Barrios Martinez, 21 years old
- Brenda Lee Marquez McCool, 49 years old
- Gilberto Ramon Silva Menendez, 25 years old
- Kimberly Morris, 37 years old
- Akyra Monet Murray, 18 years old
- Luis Omar Ocasio-Capo, 20 years old
- Geraldo A. Ortiz-Jimenez, 25 years old
- Eric Ivan Ortiz-Rivera, 36 years old
- Joel Rayon Paniagua, 32 years old
- Jean Carlos Mendez Perez, 35 years old
- Enrique L. Rios, Jr., 25 years old
- Jean C. Nives Rodriguez, 27 years old
- Xavier Emmanuel Serrano Rosado, 35 years old
- Christopher Joseph Sanfeliz, 24 years old
- Yilmary Rodriguez Solivan, 24 years old
- Edward Sotomayor Jr., 34 years old
- Shane Evan Tomlinson, 33 years old
- Martin Benitez Torres, 33 years old
- Jonathan Antonio Camuy Vega, 24 years old
- Juan P. Rivera Velazquez, 37 years old
- Luis S. Vielma, 22 years old
- Franky Jimmy Dejesus Velazquez, 50 years old
- Luis Daniel Wilson-Leon, 37 years old
- Jerald Arthur Wright, 31 years old