How jaded can Christmas be? want to know? stay at the jade Hotel 13th st Manhattan

the-jade-hotel

Three weeks ago I rang the hotel jade new York and told them we had just booked a room on Travelocity.com for check in on December 24th check out on December 26th I asked to be put through to the chef because we wanted to eat in house but I have very serious dietary restrictions. I was put through to the chef and was told it was no problem, I told him for medical reasons I was strict vegan and also was allergic to tofu and all soy and mushrooms. He assured me within a week he would email me a sample menu to approve we were over the moon, remember no tofu no mushroom. The menu  belowshould have been our warning.

I received a message from my daytime manager that you are going to be staying in the hotel and were looking for vegan options for 3 meals a day for your 3 day stay. The chef has put together a list of dishes that we can execute for you but we are otherwise limited in our ability to offer anything more. We’ve included all the pricing for these dishes and hope that they meet your needs. If for any reason these won’t work for you, please don’t hesitate to reach out and I’d be more than happy to help find you reservations somewhere you’d prefer. The Chef’s one request is that you let us know the day before which dishes you’ll be ordering so he can make sure that they are prepped for you and that we have everything in house to prepare them for you. The list of menu items is as follows:

Breakfast items: Steel cut oatmeal with fresh berries – $8

Vegan pancakes with apple compote and maple syrup – $12

Chocolate steel cut oatmeal with bananas and almonds – $9

Vegan tofu and spinach scramble – $15

Smoothies:- Kale and banana smoothie – $9

Blueberry and orange smoothie – $9

Juices:- Beet, ginger tomato juice – $10

Orange, ginger, carrot – $10

Kale, pineapple – $10

Lunch Items:- (all bread for sandwiches is vegan)

Hummus and Artichoke Sandwich – w/ olive-caper tapenade – $15

Black bean & Tofu Burger – $16

Winter Vegetables – with quinoa and balsamic syrup – $14

Soups and Salads: Sweet and spicy peanut soup – $12

Soybean and basil syrup soup – $12

Eggplant and onion soup with fresh thyme – $12

Salads: (available in app and entrée portions) Spinach & quinoa – w/ apple cider vinaigrette, apples alfalfa sprouts – $12/$17

Mediterranean kale salad – with hummus, pomegranate, spaghetti squash, sunflower seeds, white balsamic vinaigrette – $12/$17

Union Square marker salad – made with market greens and vegetables – $11/16

Dinner Items:- Buckwheat noodles – grilled king-oyster mushrooms, baby bok choy, miso broth – $22

Root vegetable lasagna – with pickled mushrooms and mushroom broth – $22

Vegetable saffron risotto – with winter vegetables – $23

Sides:- Spinach & spinach mash – $10

Roasted garlic mashed potatoes – $10

Blistered shishitos – with coarse sea sald – $10

Crispy Brussel sprouts – with hazelnuts and apples – $10

Desserts:- Selection of sorbets – $10

Chocolate ganache cupcakes – salted caramel & dark chocolate “buttercream” frosting – $10

Fruit sushi – with wasabi, agave syrup – $10

Fruit plate – with red wine syrup and cocoa nips – $10

Hope this is acceptable. Please let me know if you have any questions!

Liam Wager

Grape & Vine At The Jade Hotel

Greenwich Village 52 West 13th Street

New York, NY 10011

Phone: 212.300.4525

grapeandvinenyc.com

thejadenyc.com

Notice the constant of tofu and mushrooms? This should have been our first warning

I contacted the hotel they said I never told them, hmmm I never told them about two food products that could put me in intensive care? Yes I do that all the time I love the ER. So we arrive at the hotel and we check into a room yes the bathroom was amazingly ADA compliant and huge you could throw a flash mob in there, but would you want to? When we walked and rolled in and there was a smell and the toilet in a $600 room was full of human poop and a large chunk of hair as if someone had a haircut and put the cuttings in a toilet

poop

We rolled to the bed it was accessible, I could roll all around it and we pulled back the quilt and as Ella  touched it her hand was black, there was a puddle of ink as if from a broken pen all over the sheet where the pillow sat.?

Wonderful, we turned around to unpack and the wall behind the door was cover with paint splatter as if someone had shook their brush to get the excess off, it was also all over the carpet in the door way. Ella stepped back and something made her trip, the door jamb normally screwed into the floor to stop the door hitting the wall had  came unscrewed and she almost trod on it with two sharp screws sticking up.

she turned to look at a 6ft by 3 ft. mirror held on the opposite wall by corner brackets of anodized steel, and it was crooked that this was an 18 sq. ft. mirror weighing 50-60lbs and it was crooked and the bottom bracket holding it on was hanging on by only instead of 4 screws?

We called for housekeeping they said they would clean the toilet in 4 hours when we went out ,so Ella had to clean the toilet herself. The mirror the same and the sheets also in four hours? We came back after the early dinner and  the wall still looked like a Jackson Pollock, The carpet had snowflakes, and  the mirror was sort of fixed but still loose and dangerous.

The sheets were changed, no ink just a 2 inch circle of someone else’s blood on the opposite side of the bed? All before dinner

DINNER- Remember three and a half weeks to organize the menu? So we have a wonderful kale salad, it was really good I thought wow this guy made this just for us that was the appetizer.

salad

Entrée came, it was roasted root vegetables on tiny pasta, the kind a knowledgeable chef would only ever use for soup, never an entrée. It was disappointing heavy and oily, We bought our own wines all Australian with us, so at least that was good but the bill was $180 for salad and gluggy pasta?

We went back to the room and had some Australian tawny port we were still hungry so I rang room service and asked did they do French fries and the call went like this- OPERATOR- jade hotel room service how can I help? ME- do you do fries

OPERATOR- yes we do ME- what size is the serve? Is it big enough for two?

Operator- I don’t know are you an over eater? ME- I beg your pardon?

OPERATOR-well if you pig it down it won’t be enough for you, if you eat normal maybe there’ll be some for your wife.

ME- Enough with the rudeness, all I’m asking is, is the serve size a side dish or entrée?

Operator- how big do you eat when it comes to sides?

ME- I’m calling a manager.

So we called a manager and we asked also for two extra pillows, the pillows arrived bare with no pillow cases, we asked where they were? they gave us tow and said put them on yourselves?

The manager Chris came in and we told him everything, we showed him everything, and his response was free fries? The pillows, as we were looking at them had black mold on them? We showed Chris, he photographed them and rang for two more. They came up also without pillow cases and we were told again to put them on ourselves.

Christmas morning came we went three blocks to bean for breakfast, and we had a 1 pm booking for lunch.

You know remember the specially organized just for us menu?  there was Another great salad for appetizer, and the identical roast veggies as the night before except the gluggy pasta was changed out for gluggy rice so oil sodden that when the plate was knocked the oil splashed.

We called Liam the manager over he, asked us what he was meant to do We suggested it go away and something else replace it. Thirty minutes later two plates of pasta cut up like you were feeding a baby with a sprinkling of cherry tomatoes, caramelized onion, garlic and basil? Strange it was so sweet it was almost a desert, but we were ravenous we ate it, it was a very small serve.

Before it was finished I was clammy and sweating and nauseous, we asked for the manager  and asked was the replacement meal was it strictly to my diet restrictions? He thought so but his quote was they can only do so much on short notice?

Short notice? they had three and a half weeks and two emails back and forth to get it right. Within five minutes I was on my back in bed   with a distended stomach, vomiting, diarrhea feeling like someone was twisting my intestines till I yelled I stayed that way till I slept exhausted.

That night Liam said he would take the entrée off the bill? He said no culinary professional could guarantee no cross contamination? Really in Australia and Europe we call that mandatory health education for all cheffing apprentices, you don’t learn it you don’t graduate.

I awoke at 11pm able to eat a little so with all we were paying and a so called international chef the only way to guarantee my health was to roll for ten blocks find a vegan Chinese restaurant and buy ourselves vegan dumplings?

Three weeks and we get takeaway? We checked out this morning and we got the bill, we never ate breakfast once in house but there was a charge for breakfast, the bill he was removing wasn’t so it had to be adjusted from over three hundred above the room cost to $150.

Now don’t get me wrong like every other hotel Ella and I have reviewed there were some redeeming qualities, some.

Paulina on front desk was amazing,and she organized the chef even if everything after her was screwed up.

JOE The barman extraordinaire in the Restaurant during both screw ups was world class and I would steal him in a heartbeat.

The unknown Hispanic waiter who made coffee in the restaurant he not only made the perfect quad espresso but he was the kind of professional that even with all the Christmas patrons 24 hours later he greeted us and smiled and said to us “would you like another soy cappuccino for your wife and quad espresso for you?” a true professional who remembers people orders and makes them feel special.

Apart from that, the staff at the jade hotel would be lucky to make the worker of the month wall at Popeye’s chicken definitely not Mc Donald’s. They would never ask “do you want fries with that” without first insulting you!

Finally to the décor, when I first entered I assumed it was a revamped brownstone so I forgave the scratched paint, the dirty glass and  the raggedy carpet and the generally lackluster upkeep of the address. I figured after all it was a couple of hundred years old? That was until I was informed it was  abarely 18 months old new construction?  obviously Someone yelled “just get it damn well open” so they did. Paint bleeds everywhere, paint splatters on the wall paper, painters tape still left on stone work painted over fractured tiles scratched chrome work in the elevators tiny narrow hallways and a check in counter barely 6ft long with a 3 ft. square pillar blocking its view leaving a gap so narrow that half of the counter is obscured from the customers and definitely wheelchairs!

In the native American community jade has holy  spiritual qualities, in jewelry it sparkles and is precious, unfortunately in 13th st Manhattan it stands for a hole in the wall a blind man would be glad to see as long as he didn’t put his glasses on, because the owners must surely and sadly be jaded to let things stand as they are.

I would say close but no cigar, but if the cigar was yours I’d probably get sick from it !

we won’t be back jade and neither will anyone we can tell.

P.S. when we double checked what was in the replacement bad pasta he informed this chef made caramelized onions by deep frying them? No matter the meal sucked.

A further foot note- we later when bored went through the room service menu and found to out dismay the extra special personally designed just for us vegan menu thta took three weeks was actually standard room service items just with the dead animal removed? so lets correct one thing about this story they are good at bullshit!

Author: disabledaccessdenied

I am a disabled woman who through no fault of my own has wheels under my ass. I rely on the decency and common sense of local, state and federal goverments, as well as the retail community to abide by the disabled access laws and provide adequate ramps, disabled toilets, and not use them as store rooms or broom closets. This blog exists to find the offenders and out them, inform them, and report them if necessary and shame them into doing the right thing when all else fails.

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