When I awoke this morning I was too sick to move, I had an 11am meeting with a friend in Manhattan I had to blow off but at lunchtime after two days of dealing with fools best buy(the name is a lie run Forrest run) finally agreed my brand new laptop was a lemon and they would replace it off to Manhattan we rolled.
The trip in was uneventful and after rolling into bestbuy Union square they were semi intelligent, semi polite and semi upright (after siccing Ella on them I think they were scared) after twenty minutes it was decided we had a store credit equal to what we spent the day we bought the lemon so puter shopping we a went!
A light weight 8gb memory toshiba laptop was chosen and the $100 cash difference was given in cash.
We were told at 4pm if we came back at 6pm it would be fully loaded.
Well we made the mistake of going across to Union square, they had it seems built a Christmas village of vendors and the 10,000 shoppers that came with it . Imagine tents 8 feet apart trees with wrought iron surrounds in the middle 10,000 supposed humans me in a wheelchair and a service dogAAAARRRGGGH
We put up with it for a nano second bought a few things and quickly sought refuge in the bean coffee shop, later after we picked the computer up had dinner and headed for home.
As we rolled down to the station after the first elevator at 14th st we rolled to the second as we got the second and final elevator there was a large filthy ranting homeless man with another wheelchair using man in front . As the doors to the elevator opened the large man stood in the middle of an elevator large enough for four wheelchairs screaming like a primal Neanderthal ONLY ONE over and over so with safety in mind we waited .
Unfortunately although we waited the elevator opened delivering us to Neanderthal mans waiting arms! As I rolled towards him he started ranting “in his country my kind would be dissected with garden shears starting with the fingers?”
As I rolled past with Zeus on guard he had moved on to ” jumping rope with intestines being a favorite torture in his country and things even more gross we held our breath until a safe distance past.
As the train we boarded, an N. Finally got to our stop once again they had decided to stop a level higher than where we normally stopped with no elevator I was forced to crawl down about fifty feet to the level my train would stop on (see pic of me at the top)
As I crawled several hundred people on the floor below but no one helped, many criticized the disgusting person crawling, until Ella screamed at an employee of the railway and he carried my chair down the two flights of stairs.
Finally a train arrived and the several hundred pushed in front until a young guy in college sports wear yelled HAVE YOU NO MANNERS? THIS WOMAN IS IN A WHEELCHAIR. ! The red headed old school gentleman parted the crowd like Moses parting the Red Sea and Ella and I were placed seated and safe forget a tree growing in Brooklyn I found a gentleman alive and well in midtown and that’s rarer than Sasquatch.
On most trips to madhattan its feast or famine with no middle ground, either a collection of enlightened beings and ohm is in the air, or a convention of monosyllabic troglodytes. Who think to conjugate a verb requires lube and a condom!
Today we chanted with former Tibetan monks, ate the food of the gods at the W hotel and was safe guarded by gentleman on the MTA, we made it home in one peace although some dignity was once again left on a stairway but no city is perfect. To my lovers of a good horror story if you hurry to the Q train platform at 14th st. You’ll catch the end of how to have fun with entrails tell him Mia sent you.