When I was a small child I used to watch the fighting in Vietnam knowing I had family members over there and I asked my mom “WHY DOESN’T SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING?”
When My brother came into my bed every night and raped me I screamed into the darkness of my mind “WHY DOESN’T SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING?” My question was never answered
When the PLO killed the Israeli Olympic team I again asked myself why doesn’t somebody do something?
As the years went on and I grew and had a family, a divorce and came out so many times when doctors, lawyers wives and family did wrong to me and to the world when world Leaders committed genocide when countries turned inward on each other and when my son was born seriously disabled and spent months in a nicu humidicrib I screamed at the universe
“FOR GODSAKE WHY DOESN’T SOMEBODY DO SOMETHING?”
Many years went by and one day I found myself disabled and sentenced to life in a chair so I started a blog,yes the one you’re reading. Oneday I asked a friend, a devout Buddhist who has devoted his life to the Buddhas teachings what he thought about my writing, and in a brogue Scottish accent he breathed and said “WELL MY FRIEND IF YOU MUST HAVE A PITY PARTY AT LEAST GET IT FUCKING CATERED!”
I thought for a few days “how dare he, how unBuddhist what does he know?”
I eventually realized all these years I had screamed “FOR GODSAKE WHY DOESN’T SOMEBODY BLOODY WELL DO SOMETHING?”
I WAS SOMEBODY,
IF IT WAS TO BE IT IS UP TO ME, BECAUSE I AM SOMEBODY, MY VOICE HAS POWER AND IF I PUT HALF THE ENERGY INTO DOING SOMETHING THAT I HAD FOR YEARS INTO SCREAMING I SOMEBODY COULD DO MANY SOME THINGS.
I COULD START A REALISATION, A COMMUNITY PERHAPS OF PEOPLE WHO DID SOMETHING INSTEAD OF SCREAMING.
This realization that I was the somebody, that I had been screaming for for so long led to other realisations.
For years since my world with my family fell apart I had kept my whole world in two army bags, so I could keep running from demons, from those who ruined my life, from all that was terrifying. But the day I realized I was the somebody I screamed for, was the same day I realised the demons I ran from for over thirty years were in those bags, were in me.
And that day I realized you can’t run from who you are, you can’t run from those who hate ,from those who wish to do you harm you can’t scream
WHY DOESN’T SOMEBODY BLOODYWELL DO SOMETHING,
you simply one day must stop, breathe unpack the bags,the demons and all and yell instead
IF YOU WANT TO DO ME HARM TO MAKE MY LIFE OR THE LIFE OF ANYONE ELSE LIKE ME LESS THAN I AM HER AND I WILL BLOODYWELL DO SOMETHING.
This won’t take the boogeyman from under the bed overnight, ,this won’t take the monsters from the darkness of my memory, this won’t take your demons or your monsters away in the same flash as they jump into your dreams every night.
But if we all stop running today, if we all stand together and if we all yell to the universe I AM THE SOMEBODY AND I’M HERE TO DO SOMETHING AND STOP IT ALL HERE we just might get through it together.
If you live with PTSD, if you live with night terrors, with flashbacks if at three in the morning your molestor from decades ago is back on top, back inside you again please know you’re not alone. Every day you make it, you kick the monster. If you reach down and help the next survivor coming up behind you, we can push the monsters back into the dark and out from under the bed, out of your bed out of your head and soul and show those who came to do us harm there is nowhere in the world where they will be tolerated.
Nowhere where monsters can hide because my strength, your strength, our combined strength will stand against it all and if we can stand together no one can stand against us.
Please be here tomorrow, to my friends in uniform thankyou for your service, you are not alone and you have people who care.