When you live with PTSD and you have had some therapy you try to to fill your days with things that take your mind off the memories, I rock climb, I swim, I road race, AND I write my books but there is an old saying that goes like this “how do you make god laugh? You tell him your plans”
When you are doing the best you can and suddenly the worst arctic front in 50 years hits New York, and you also use a wheelchair your plans go out the window.
When you can’t leave the house so you can’t do any activities, you can’t even get to your therapist or a friend or families house that’s when the darkness hits, that’s when the memories roll like a 3d movie on permanent loop in your mind, and that’s when things can go bad.
Do you know someone who lives like that? Someone who has come home from war, or survived rape or molestation or spousal abuse and lives with the nightmares? These are the people that become invisible, people say things like “we try to visit often but they’re no fun they’re depressed all the time so we don’t visit much” or “all they talk about is the war” If you think hearing about is no fun imagine living it the first time and then reliving it twenty times a day.
Holidays are the worst, more people kill themselves over holidays than any other time of the year, 22 veterans who made it home without obvious outward injury kill themselves every day and 2 more still currently serving do as well.
Ask yourself how important these people are to you and how you would feel if they were dead tomorrow? The yellow ribbon around a tree out front was a nice sentiment while they were deployed and the big party the day they came home was great but what about the day after, the week after? Or are you waiting for the suicide to have a really meorable wake!
Don’t live for the memorable party, make life the party, love them so they feel it, be there when they need you, and listen like you’re mute until they never need to talk again. Better the life ahead than the one you can barley remember.

Author: disabledaccessdenied

I am a disabled woman who through no fault of my own has wheels under my ass. I rely on the decency and common sense of local, state and federal goverments, as well as the retail community to abide by the disabled access laws and provide adequate ramps, disabled toilets, and not use them as store rooms or broom closets. This blog exists to find the offenders and out them, inform them, and report them if necessary and shame them into doing the right thing when all else fails.


  1. Beautifully said. I hope people read this and think of someone in their lives that can use a hand or a hello or a hug. I will see you soon.

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