“loudmouthed” “pushy” “opinionated” loud” Obnoxious” “A Pain in the ass” yes but whats your point?

In the last 48 hours I have been interviewed by CNN, the London daily mirror and had the CNN interviewed aired on several NBC affiliates.These interviews were published online and as with most online publications they opened the article up to comment! Well the experts came out of the wood work, I was accused of being a fake, lying about my clothes size, lying about how I put on the weight, about how I lost the weight, whether I can climb, whether I can swim, I was called obnoxious, a slob, angry, sad, emotional, retarded and they were just the ones the moderators didn’t ban.
The one thing they all had in common, they were not me,they didn’t roll a mile in my chair, they were for the most part over weight over opinionated wannabe’s hiding behind a fake screen name (one guy expected to be taken seriously with the moniker “the almighty Satan” and he called me crazy!) You see it long ago became apparent to me as Winston Churchill once said it’s not until you have upset someone and made enemies that you know your doing your job right.
Every day here in the united states and in England ,Europe Australia and the rest of the world there are more rights walked on than side walks. Those include the rights of the gay community to love whom they want and marry, the rights of the disabled to live independently and receive equal treatment, the rights of the people of color to be treated without prejudice and the rights of girls in Muslim countries to be educated without fear of death, the rights of women to receive equal pay for equal work with a man and the right of a woman to not be a punching bag because someone else thinks they own them and the rights of a child to go to bed without fear that their monster isn’t under the bed it will climb into it and do unspeakable things to them forever stealing their innocence.
All of these things every minute of every day are being walked on and ripped away soul by soul. When I first got into advocacy work I met Christine Quinn, the speaker of the New York city council and someone in her office called me a pain in the ass after I doggedly kept on them to repair the sidewalks in Chelsea and my reply to that was “yes I am a professional pain in the ass the biggest you will ever meet until the rights of newyorks dis and otherwise abled are no longer used as door mats and toilet paper by this establishment. I often sign off my articles with RESPECT OUR EXISTENCE OR EXPECT MY RESISTANCE because as former Australian senator don chipp said ”SOMEONE HAS TO KEEP THE BASTARDS HONEST!”
When these people replying to these articles became offended at my replies, what was their real problem? They had an opinion in their mind that they were right, they had never met me and they were not disabled for the most part and they didn’t live in new york or they were not sure if I wore size 16 but if I did I was successful and they can’t accept that it means their opinion was wrong. If I didn’t “woddle off to the fridge and pig out” if I actually did gain the weight because of steroid based drugs and immobility as was the case then the people who think all fat people are slovenly lazy slobs who eat anything and everything have to face the fact they judged me incorrectly, and to the homophobes who insisted “i was a dude and a freak” well they will never change.
You see the problem with the internet is bigots can hide, monsters can be friends and mechanics and garboligists can claim PhD’s and once they begin their diatribe others believe they must be right so even though I am writing about my life that I lived about my disability that I live with someone who has never met me suddenly is deemed to know more than I the person who actually holds the facts.
As long as we have this anonymous forum we will have anonymous bully’s, we will have the people who know somebody who met somebody who sat next to somebody on a bus who had a cousin who read a book on the subject, so the cyber vox populi votes them immediately to head of their little plebeian council and gives them unfettered right to abuse lambast and decry good people who simply told their truthful story in the hope it helped others.

I am not whining, far from it while I say thank you to people who did wish me well or congratulate even they of the minority of well wishers matter not to me. I can’t let them you see, I have never met them they are not here when Ella needs help picking me up after a seizure they don’t massage away the limb spasms when they hurt so much the pain brings tears to my eyes they didn’t hold us when momma died so if your not in our every day life you don’t get a say and when you do have one I cannot let it impact me or our life it would not be right by the band of brothers and beautiful sisters who are there for the good the bad the life and the death. They always have been and always will, and they don’t ask a thing for it they just care.
So yes I am all the names you call me if you like, because you’re opinion and $2.50 will get me on the subway and that’s about all it matters. To those who need my help I am always here, to those like minded individuals who care for their community and put it first you only have to call an I will help but to those who will read this and think up their version of a witty insulting comment don’t waste your breath you see you are the reason the trash bin on my blog was invented and it never gets full there’s always room for one more. If you want to tear me a new one by replying, well if your point is valid and expressed intelligently then it will be published if not please read above.

A friend of mine when he first read my blog told me if I was going to publish a pity party at least get it catered so none of this is pity, if you think you have caused me to pity myself you give yourself way too much importance. This blog was born out of the belief that if I experience bigotry abuse and oppression of my rights how dare I let my ego get so big as to believe in this whole wide world I am the only one that it happened to today, and to that end when I research, write, fight, protest, and storm the Bastille of the corporate and government worlds I am the last one I do it for because as the Buddhist teachings tell us in mantra “this energy I take in is so I may work so that all others benefit from my effort first” to my friends namaste to all others may you live in interesting times

Author: disabledaccessdenied

I am a disabled woman who through no fault of my own has wheels under my ass. I rely on the decency and common sense of local, state and federal goverments, as well as the retail community to abide by the disabled access laws and provide adequate ramps, disabled toilets, and not use them as store rooms or broom closets. This blog exists to find the offenders and out them, inform them, and report them if necessary and shame them into doing the right thing when all else fails.

2 thoughts on ““loudmouthed” “pushy” “opinionated” loud” Obnoxious” “A Pain in the ass” yes but whats your point?”

  1. Hello Mia!

    A story about you showed up on my facebook feed and then the same person linked to this blog entry. Your story is awesome in so many ways – you are clearly a fierce advocate for social change in loads of ways.

    I did want to ask you though to consider that maybe what you have accomplished is about much more – or perhaps about something entirely other than – ‘weight loss’. What if you had regained all your activities (which research shows addresses issues like type 2 diabetes whether or not there is weight loss), but lost little or no weight? Would that have meant that you had failed? What if someone else in similar life circumstances, but who had never been an athlete went through a process of dealing with their depression and reclaiming the things that were important to to them in their life – perhaps art, or high-level mathematics – but remained fat – would that mean that they should be seen as failures?

    I noticed that one commentator to the news article – fuck them – has already decreed that in their opinion you are still too fat. In an anti-fat world, anyone who is not very thin is going to be seen as too fat. I worry that the way your story has been framed in the media (as if one’s weight defines one’s worth, and nothing else but weight loss matters) helps to perpetuate exactly the kind of thinking that allows this commentator to continue to judge you as being ‘too fat’ to be considered a success. I wonder if the notion that bodies are worthy targets for judgment like that is at the root of the problem.

    I also noticed that in this blog entry, speaking about people who had criticized you, you wrote ” The one thing they all had in common, they were not me,they didn’t roll a mile in my chair, they were for the most part over weight over opinionated wannabe’s hiding behind a fake screen name…” It made me sad to see that you yourself were accepting the notion that being fat or ‘over weight’ devalues someone – that you yourself seem to have internalized this view. As if the best way to dismiss someone as unimportant or unworthy of respect is to call them fat. This has been done to me countless time, and I know it will have happened to you as well. You didnt deserve it. Neither do I. And neither your body nor mine should be considered to be the basis of a good insult. ‘Fat’ does not mean lazy, stupid, ugly, or any of the other things we are told it means. Our bodies do not dismiss us. Fat people are not unworthy of respect, however we eat, whatever our activity levels, whether or not we are seeking to become thinner. There is a line in a poem by Hanne Blank called ‘real women’ – the poem is challenging the idea that there is any such thing as a ‘real woman’ – that goes: “there is no wrong way to have a body.” I truly believe that. There is no wrong way to have a body.

    I suppose I am hoping that you will reconsider the value of calling someone ‘over weight’ as a way of dismissing them, and that you might also reconsider framing – or perhaps allowing the media to frame – your accomplishments primarily in terms of ‘weight loss.’ I am someone who straddles a number of communities, including disability community, fat community, queer and genderqueer communities, and more – my hope is that as a society we can become ever more intersectional in how we resist oppression, and I can see from other parts of your blog entry that this is something you care about as well. So, I offer you the above thoughts in solidarity because I believe we share many of the same values.

    Much warmth,

    Kalamity
    one of the founders of Fat Panic! Vancouver. You can read about Fat Panic! Vancouver (our website is woefully in need of updating!) here: https://fatpanic.wordpress.com/about/ Also, on our homepage ( https://fatpanic.wordpress.com/ )you can click the link to access a zine that was produced via Fat Panic! and also the organization I am employed at – SFPIRG. It is a fun response to anti-fat stuff happening at the campus where SFPIRG is located. Finally – you can find us on facebook.

    1. the reason I say over weight and over opiniated is in most cases its true the average hater that I havemet has been as large as i was and didn’t try to lose weight so they judge everyone else who does. as to your “what if i had got all my skills back but not lost weight”? I couldnt have I would have died, you can’t climb cliffs at 540een deadlbs you cant swim 2 miles a day at 540lbs you cant teach and compete judot at that weight and my medical levels would not have come down and I would have been dead I’m sorry I am glad you’re happy but in my opinion you should be supportive of the effort to lose but is fine morbid obesity is the bubonic plague of this century it is kiling a generation and anyone who says being fat is fine is an enabler. as for saying I dismiss them no i dismiss fat loudmouths who attack because of their own insecurities

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