When I started this blog I was angry. Angry at my body for failing me, angry at the universe for letting this happen, angry at society for, as I was discovering day-by-day, their who gives a damn attitude toward the disabled and the almost non-existent enforcement of the few paltry utterances that pass as laws.
I was angry to be around. I was the classic pissed off wheelchair bound person that thought the world owed them a new body and a second chance. Writing had always been a passion so the love of my life suggested the blog and walked me through it’s set up.
The blog started out as a place where I could scream without the neighbours complaining. A place to be angry that wouldn’t involve law enforcement. Don’t get me wrong I knew other ways. I am a Buddhist and a life long meditator, but you have to stop asking why to bring your hands down into a mudra. So I put on the journalistic hat and sought out problems and paradises, although I didn’t have to look far as there was already so much to highlight. The good and the bad. This blog got recognition, Disability Now Magazine in the UK published a piece by me in this months issue. The publisher said he liked my anger. My friend the venerable TSultrim, the nun said she didnt. My friend Michael said the title was a little in your face, but so many things were wrong, so many causes to grab hold of and so many bastilles yet to storm.
The intent was never to paint myself as a victim. My references to personal experience were meant to show I spoke from some level of understanding, but if they came off as woe is little ol me then I am wrong for none of us are victims. If we’re still here the day after were survivors and should be proud no matter what. To people in coutries and areas of the world where help, any help, no matter how bad or how poorly organized would be a step up, I humbly apologise. If I came off as some whining Westerner who doesn’t know when she is well off, I’m sorry. Going forth from today I will still have anger, but as my dear friend Colin suggested, I shall disect, take the productive energy and leave the rage by the roadside as it serves no one.
If any part of this blog is seen as not serving then I have failed. So what disability is this post about? It’s about my deafness to the wiseness of those who know and to whom I should listen. My closing comment is that my ears are open, my heart is listening and please all of you from now on, good or bad, please let me know your thoughts because without feedback I won’t know this is of service to anyone.