Depression does not discriminate

Society at large seems to have an impression that if you’re depressed your life is empty, you have nothing and all you need is some activity. To assume it is simply a lack of action or an unfulfilled life is so wrong.

I have one novel out on Amazon and I have almost finished its sequel and a third is on the way about half finished. I have written a children’s book about animal rescue, and I am working on a biography of my amazing mother-in-law Rita it will follow her life through her cooking so as you follow her and her family from holocaust era Europe through to flushing newyork in 2007 you can cook the food of the ethnicities she embraced and the era in which she lived.

I teach adaptive martial arts and  swim 2 miles a day, I Rockwall climb and am about to start Para tri-athalon training as well as being in the middle of my service dog Zeus being trained a full life by anyone’s standard. Yet despite all that today I followed Alice into the rabbit hole and met the mad hatter I’m in that dark hole and there seems no light,  sometimes these funks last weeks sometimes mere hours. Even writing this is a mammoth effort but I am forcing myself to get the message out before the darkness encloses my thinking as I know it will.

If you live with depression or any other mental health issue get help, this is not a hole anyone can crawl out of on their own. I see a counselor once a week and on a good week the time flies as I go through my busy week, then days like today make it seem so far to our next session that it is out of sight completely. I find that when I live with my ptsd from my childhood molestations and the terrors I have survived as an adult if I stop too long without thoughts the memories that make my dreams into nightmares jump into the daylight fitting into the gaps in activity easily. They fit in, but once they work on my feelings and emotions there is no guarantee they will ever leave. I am stopping now, writing is feeling like there is a thousand pounds on my wrists and on my thoughts so until tomorrow. Maybe.

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