World suicide prevention day, please stick around please it hurts now but it does get better

People say once you try and kill yourself you’re branded for life, you’ll never achieve you have gone as far as you’ll ever go. I have one thing to say BULLSHIT, One of my closest friends when we met back in the early part of this decade suffered depression and tried to kill herself today she is a respected doctor working in a respectable clinic.

In the early nineties Not long after the birth of my Daughter my then wife left me  and stole my children, then she  lied to the courts and I have not seen them since my son was 5 and my daughter just over one.

 I had a breakdown and  I was in hospital for a while and I carved up my right wrist, I recovered or so I thought.  I never went to therapy and  I blew off the doctor’s appointment and three months later I took a  bottle of carbamazepine  and had to have my stomach pumped.

 This was the darkest times of my life, but fast forward 20 years later I know love I live the other side of the world  with my beautiful wife.

I am permanently disabled  but it has nothing to do with what happened all those years ago, I moved on and I accepted to a certain degree a life without my children in it. 

I now know what I did back then was stupid, I couldn’t see it then and if you’re in the dark place now where suicide seems a viable option you probably can’t see it either. But please it gets better.  I lost my children my family my parents and my country, and yet I am loved and I give love every day. I would have missed out on oh so much if those attempts had worked.

 You are important you are beautiful and for god sake you are needed, because when you’re here tomorrow you like me can reach back and show someone else there is light in the darkness of depression.

Please if you’re in the United States call the TREVOR PROJECT  or your local hospital, please call out scream  or shout become obvious to all that you need help. Death is final depression is not and love is waiting. Please be here to read my blog on next year’s suicide prevention day, and send me a message letting me know  because I care I have been where you are.

I am not being trite if you need someone to vent to email me at disabledaccessdenied@gmail.com 

To everyone reading this please reach out and let everyone in your circle know they matter, make an appointment with those who may be suffering for a year from now and make sure it’s your job to help them keep it.  blessed be.

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